Tally your answers to these 10 questions to find out what houseplant is right for you:
Do you have pets?
a) Yes, but they leave plants alone.b) Fish
c) Dog(s)
d) Cat(s)
e) No
f) Me? Take care of another living thing?
What kind of natural light do you have in your home?
a) A variety.b) Bright, indirect sunlight.
c) Indirect sunlight, but not too bright.
d) Lots of bright, direct sunlight! My house is made of windows!
e) Low light.
f) I’m living in a world of darkness.
How green is your thumb?
a) I’m an enthusiastic novice.b) So green it stains like grass.
c) Green, I know about plants.
d) Green-ish, I've kept some plants alive.
e) Not green, trial and (mostly) error.
f) No plant survives me.
How much time can you commit to watering plants?
a) Once a week—I have a life!b) Just the right amount! I like a challenge.
c) I love watering plants! I like to water them all the time.
d) Less than once a week.
e) I’m pretty forgetful, so almost none.
f) I don’t even remember to water myself.
How would you describe the climate in your space right now?
a) Normal.b) Warm and humid (bathroom during a hot shower).
c) Slightly humid.
d) Hot and dry.
e) It’s not something I think about.
f) Freezing cold.
How often do you travel?
a) Sometimes, maybe once a month.b) I’m usually home.
c) Never.
d) I’m gone once a week.
e) I travel a lot, sometimes weeks at a time.
f) My home is the open road.
Pick a plant type:
a) Vineyb) Tall
c) Leafy
d) Succulent
e) Pointy
f) Unkillable
How big a plant do you want?
a) I have some room to grow.b) Something big.
c) Small-ish.
d) Small and slow-growing.
e) Manageable medium.
f) Big enough to fill the hole in my heart.
How much can you afford to spend?
a) Affordable market value.b) Money is no object.
c) Not a lot.
d) Some money for the right plant.
e) I’m not sure.
f) I can’t afford to have anything else die on me.
Pick a colour:
a) Marbled greenb) Vibrant green
c) Bright and tropical
d) Light green
e) Dark green
f) Mountain Dew green
Tally your results!
Mostly A’s?
You got Pothos!If you have pets, keep this plant out of reach as it can cause irritation and indigestion if eaten.
Mostly B’s?
You got Fiddle Leaf Fig!You're thinking, “Boy, that sounds like a lot of work!”
Sure, but your green thumb can handle it! If you have pets who like to eat plants, steer clear of this one as it is toxic if consumed!
Mostly C’s?
You got Fittonia!They’re also non-toxic to pets!
Mostly D’s?
You got Burro’s Tail!They’re also non-toxic to pets!
Mostly E’s?
You got Snake Plant!
If you’re not the most reliable plant parent, this one's for you! Snake plant, sometimes called Mother In-Law’s Tongue, thrives on neglect (It’s fine! I’ll sit in the dark!). Not much natural light? No time to water plants? No problem! These things are virtually unkillable and quite satisfying to grow.
Keep out of reach of pets!
Keep out of reach of pets!
Mostly F’s?
You got Fake Plant!
Maybe you live in a dark, cold basement or maybe you like the consistency of something that can't and won't grow. Either way, you’re not currently on board for the responsibility of real plant ownership. Fake plants can give you a lot of the decorative benefits: they're literally impossible to kill, available in any shape, size, or colour—and you can count on fake plants not to abandon you.
If you want real plants, you need a reality check.
Don’t let your pets eat these, they’re likely made of plastic.
If you want real plants, you need a reality check.
Don’t let your pets eat these, they’re likely made of plastic.
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